Two Words To Ruin Any Relationship

relationship coaching

With any close relationship there inevitably comes a time when you need to make an apology.

The more time we spend with people, the more room there is for a mismatch in behaviour or communication, and whether our actions were deliberate or completely unintended, somewhere along the line, someone we care about is hurt, insulted, offended or betrayed.

Apologies can be difficult to make though.

Most of us want to be seen as a good person and not be perceived as someone who is careless, and hurtful. We also tend to come neatly packaged with a natural aversion to being wrong, or flawed.

It’s usually uncomfortable to admit fault.

But being able to apologise well will make a big difference to any relationship we are part of, and goes a lot further towards actually making us that good person we want to be, letting the people we love know that their feelings are important to us.

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Don’t Share Your Relationship Problems With Whoever Who Will Listen

Sex CoachingWe’ve all had one of those conversations. You know the kind that start with ‘You won’t believe what (enter partner’s name) did’ or ‘It annoys me so much when they (enter current annoying behaviour or habit)’.

ÂI know I have in the past, and I certainly hear plenty of them when I’m in amongst it at social gatherings.

Soon enough you have one or more people unraveling an exhaustive laundry list of all the things their partner does to upset, annoy or frustrate them as those listening nod, agree and chime in with their own stories. It can seem like a wonderful bubbling hub of support and allegiance but I encourage you to think carefully about who and how you share the nitty grittys of your relationship.

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Will You Still Be Having The Same Arguments In 20 Years?

Relationship Coach

Have you ever looked at one of those couples who never argue, who nod agreeably at each others every word and seem to be two parts of the same mind and thought “Life would be so much easier if our relationship was like that”?

Well if it’s not, a recent US study* suggests that it never will be.

The study, involving a cross section of 1000 couples, found that over the course of 20 years the level of conflict within the average relationship did not lessen or increase over those 20 years.

Which means that if you are still with your partner in 20 years time, you will still be having a similar number of the same kind of arguments as you are having today.

It would seem that two decades of experience and learning won’t necessarily lead you into a life of constant peace and calm, unless you are already there now.

As a Relationship Coach, this surprised me as it is part of my work to help couples understand each other better and communicate in ways that decrease the occasion for argument.

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Valentine’s Day – A Day For Love Or Letdown?

Sex Coaching

Valentines Day is here!!

The day of lovers when romantic gestures are keenly expected by those cherished by another and by those who hope to be.

The day when millions of dollars are spent on gifts, flowers, wine, food and cards as lovers everywhere endeavour to demonstrate the depth of their love.

The day when wives and girlfriends track every bunch of flowers delivered to the office, hopeful that they are the lucky recipient this time.

The day when husbands and boyfriends muddle their minds trying to think of the right gift, or default to the stock standard promoted by every florist, card shop or chocolate maker.

I’m personally pretty neutral on Valentines Day and my husband and I don’t hold the day with too much importance.

For us it isn’t necessary to mark a certain day to know that we love and adore each other deeply. Every day is the perfect day to let each other know.

But for some, Valentine’s Day does hold a special importance and there is much anticipation over what treats their partner has in store.

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