Have you ever looked at one of those couples who never argue, who nod agreeably at each others every word and seem to be two parts of the same mind and thought “Life would be so much easier if our relationship was like that”?
Well if it’s not, a recent US study* suggests that it never will be.
The study, involving a cross section of 1000 couples, found that over the course of 20 years the level of conflict within the average relationship did not lessen or increase over those 20 years.
Which means that if you are still with your partner in 20 years time, you will still be having a similar number of the same kind of arguments as you are having today.
It would seem that two decades of experience and learning won’t necessarily lead you into a life of constant peace and calm, unless you are already there now.
As a Relationship Coach, this surprised me as it is part of my work to help couples understand each other better and communicate in ways that decrease the occasion for argument.