It’s Not All About You (And That’s Good)

not taking things personally

My husband and I recently experienced the loss of our 2nd baby. We have been trying to grow our family for nearly 2 years now, and have sadly lost both of the only pregnancies that we have managed to create.

It has been an extremely heartbreaking, and stressful time. There have been a few moments when I have totally lost myself in the grief, anger and heartache over the loss of 2 children we wanted so desperately, but I have always known that with my husband by my side, I would be ok.

He has been amazing and, particularly with our 2nd loss, tried so hard to be strong, to get me through those first days. I wanted to be strong too, to show him he was carrying me through, so I did my best to keep my grief inside.

But there came a time, when I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Rather than come straight out and say how I felt though, I started bitching and moaning about various unimportant household tasks that hadn’t been done, and how my husband was too busy to help me, and that I had work to do too!!!

I can honestly say that I wasn’t a particularly nice person in that moment and he had every right to be mad at me for the way I was acting. I was in attack mode and it would have been so easy for my sweet man to retaliate as the innocent victim of a crazy lady.

But he did something that I absolutely love him for.

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Two Words To Ruin Any Relationship

relationship coaching

With any close relationship there inevitably comes a time when you need to make an apology.

The more time we spend with people, the more room there is for a mismatch in behaviour or communication, and whether our actions were deliberate or completely unintended, somewhere along the line, someone we care about is hurt, insulted, offended or betrayed.

Apologies can be difficult to make though.

Most of us want to be seen as a good person and not be perceived as someone who is careless, and hurtful. We also tend to come neatly packaged with a natural aversion to being wrong, or flawed.

It’s usually uncomfortable to admit fault.

But being able to apologise well will make a big difference to any relationship we are part of, and goes a lot further towards actually making us that good person we want to be, letting the people we love know that their feelings are important to us.

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