How Spontaneity Could Be Ruining Your Sex Life

relationship coaching

50 Shades Of Grey is guilty of it. Mills and Boon is guilty. Every romance movie you’ve ever watched is guilty of doing it.

Guilty of doing what?

Guilty of helping you to nurture unrealistic ideals and expectations about what love and sex in the average relationship is really all about.

We all know how it goes in Hollywood, in a scripted novel. A gorgeous couple randomly and passionately fall into bed, with just a few glances, all the right words and without a single thought of whatever else is going on the world.

In the grips of passion they mold their perfect bodies perfectly together for the most amazing, mind blowing, orgasmic sex two people could ever hope for.

Every hair is in place, nothing flops or jiggles about, every kiss and caress is delivered with pleasure and received with absolute desire. Every breath and movement is totally in sync.

Which is exactly how it should go in real life as well, right?

If only that were true.

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Tuning Into Your Turn On

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Remember those heady, new love days?

Those days when you first met your partner, and everything they did turned you on?

They said your name in just the right tone, and touched you just the right way. They smelt perfect, felt perfect and just thinking about the things you wanted to do to them would cause that delicious familiar ‘I want you’ feeling.

It didn’t matter that they left their socks at the end of your bed, or hadn’t washed up the wine glasses you drank out of the night before. You were so aware of how much they turned you on and you couldn’t go for more than a few days before falling into a wild search for some one on one time with this fabulous creature you had discovered.

You remember those feelings, right?

And now?

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20 Truths About Real Love

Sex CoachingLike most people, I have had my share of bad and not so great relationships.

Today I am blessed with the kind of relationship I always hoped and dreamed was possible. And it keeps on getting better every day.

But it wasn’t a love that started out that way and it took work, letting go of fairytales and expectations, and really being willing to give ourselves to love to become incredible.

Through my journey, through constant research and learning, and through the work with my clients I have discovered essential truths about what helps create those relationships that are deeply loving, fulfilling and passionate.

Here are 20 of them. I know there are plenty more but these are the ones that really stick out for me at this time:

  1. Sometimes love isn’t enough, and that can hurt like crazy. But if you can add in commitment, friendship, communication, respect, vulnerability and honesty, it can become everything. [Read more…]