- Why Shared Values Are More Important Than Shared Interests
- Loving In Your Partner’s Shoes
- What Will You Do Differently This Year?
- How Spontaneity Could Be Ruining Your Sex Life
- Why Worrying About Your Partner Cheating Is Pointless
- Are You A Creator Or A Reactor In Love
- Don’t Share Your Relationship Problems With Whoever Who Will Listen
- “We’re not completely unhappy” and other half baked statements about your relationship
- Will You Still Be Having The Same Arguments In 20 Years?
- Valentine’s Day – A Day For Love Or Letdown?
What Will You Do Differently This Year?
The New Year is here. Have you set your New Years resolutions? Have you decided on all those things that you promise to do, to make 2013 an even better year than last year?
When we set our New Year resolutions, we tend to focus on all the things that we haven’t done enough of in past year or all the bad habits we want to break. We vow to exercise more, eat healthier, drink more water, and stop biting our nails.
But how often do you set New Year resolutions to have more and better love in your life?
You wouldn’t be alone if the answer was never, but it’s not too late to try it out.
Being completely honest, have you got the relationship you dream of? Are you giving and getting the kind of love that makes your heart swell? Do things just keep getting better and better with every year that goes by?
If not, the start of a new year is the perfect time to take stock of your relationship, and think about what you want it to be like going forward.
It’s all good setting positive intentions for your career or business, for your health and for your personal achievements, but you can also turn around your relationship so that it grows deeper and stronger with each year, rather than stagnating over time, simply by setting some New Year Love Resolutions.
How To Set Your Love Resolutions
You can either do this by yourself, or together with your partner.
If you feel like you want to (or need to) make your own changes first, before letting your partner in on what you’re doing, then do this exercise by yourself for now. If you and your partner are both aware of changes that need to be made, and are ready to make them, then use this exercise to share how you will take your relationship forward in 2013.
Either alone, or with your partner (one at a time), ask yourself the following questions:
- How do I want to be in my relationship?
- Who do I want to be in my relationship?
- What bad love habits or patterns do I want to break?
- What would bring me closer to the great love I want?
Once you have answered the questions above, you should be able to pick out what areas you want to improve on, and what areas need a total and dramatic shift to create the love you really want. From these discoveries you can make your list of Love Resolutions for 2013.
An example of a Love Resolution might come from answering How do I want to be in my relationship? with ‘respectful, kind, open, and generous’. If the reality is that you regularly find yourself cursing at your partner every time they annoy you then it’s probably a good idea to make a Love Resolution to take time to cool off and ban swearing from your arguments.
Or if you crave more loving touch and physical connection in your relationship, then you might make a Love Resolution to make the effort to give more affection without expectation.
Do Your Own Work First
You might wonder when you get to tell your partner what you want them to change.
Although I certainly advocate communicating relationship concerns, and discussing how each others behaviour affects the relationship, when it becomes a problem, this exercise is all about identifying what YOU want to do differently in 2013, and how YOU want to show up in your relationship going forward.
It is important to do your own work first, before focusing on trying to change others. Besides, you can’t change anyone but yourself and there’s no point setting Love Resolutions for your partner, if they have no desire to even try them out.
The powerful side effect of doing your own work first is that when you take ownership of YOUR role in the relationship, and when you better yourself and how YOU love, it’s almost impossible for your partner not to respond with a more loving and positive approach in return.
Change Can Be Difficult
Once you have identified your Love Resolutions, you can start working towards better love right away.
But don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip back into old patterns every now and then. Change can be difficult, but as long as you are able to reset and get back on track, you’ll create permanent change in no time.
So, have fun with creating New Year’s Love Resolutions and have the best love of your life, for 2013 and beyond.